The phrase "Just get over it" is one that I hate. It's right up there with low rise jeans and pineapple on pizza. Why do I hate that phrase so much? Because it implies that it is within a person's power to move on from hard experience. Spoiler alert: It's not.
People who have experienced a traumatic event are changed on a biological level. One study did a simulated traumatic even to study this. They took people sky diving for the first time and studied their cells before and after their dive. What did they find? There were noticeable differences between the cells before and after their experience. Can you change your cells just by willing them to change?
People who have experienced a traumatic event are changed on a psychological level. Our brains have neuropathways that act as highways between thoughts, behaviors, and physical functions. You know how you feel like your driving on autopilot on your way to work? You may even try to stop off at the gas station before work, but your brain is so used to the same journey that you miss the turn. Well, our brains work that way too. Our brains can get stuck on autopilot when our thoughts travel on the same highway frequently.
So, when a person is abused by their partner for 2 months and their partner walks into the room with a scowl, that person's thought is going to start going down the brain highway. On this highway, they are led to the same destination that always begins with a scowl; pain.
This person's brain has traveled this road so often (or just one time that left an impression) that they can't help but arrive at the same conclusion; they're going to get hurt.
What do you do when you fear for your life? Your breathing might get shallow, your heart beats fast, you begin to tremble, and you know you either need to fight or run away. This is a survival instinct. Instincts are things programmed it to our brains and bodies that are not controlled by us. This is what our person experiences every time they see a man scowl. They can't control it. Their brain is on autopilot. Their instincts are activated.
This safety mechanism can become problematic when it gets stuck on autopilot. This is when people's brains automatically register regular events as dangerous. Using our earlier example, our person could be sent on autopilot every time they see someone scowl. This can interrupt their life in major ways. They could have a panic attack when their boss scowls at them after they make a minor mistake at work. Their loving partner could have a bad day and scowl causing our traumatized person to fight back with harsh words at an attempt to protect themselves. Do you see where I'm going with this?
People who have experienced trauma can't will themselves to get over it. Just as you can't will your cells to change, a person can not just decide to stop reacting to triggers from their trauma. It takes a lot of hard work to live with a brain stuck on autopilot and, eventually, heal.
So let's stop expecting people to "just get over it". Because there is a lot more going on than we can see.
To everyone dealing with PTSD, keep fighting. I see you. There is hope on the other end of this journey.
Comentarios